why me?
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I guy that I currently date is the jealous type. He also tries to control me. When I talked to his ex girlfriend about the same type of issues, like was he ever controlling or jealous of you, she acted like I was speaking in a foreign language and said, "no". She was appalled that I even asked the question! I know that its not necessarily good to go to ex-girlfriends, but who else am I supposed to go to? (I really can't trust is parents or siblings to tell me the truth) What's the REAL deal?
side note: i've seen my boyfriend's other past girlfriends and they are somewhat unattractive (not that this matters, but he claims that he never had to deal with jealousy before because he was with his girlfriends 24-7) He did act like his ex's "did him wrong". hmmm...sounds fishy!

asked by Anonymous on Monday, August 4, 2008 - 13:37 and last updated on Monday, August 4, 2008 - 18:43 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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mbawar:

find out the reason of why he is so jealous? maybe one of his past girlfriends cheated on him before? My bf was a jealous type when we first met cause his ex cheated on him...so I asked him why and we talked about it, he now understand that he can trust me completely.
and dont talk to his exes...I dont think its a good idea...try talking to him instead, tell him that he can trust you.

2008-08-04 13:41
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wullaby:

If you know what you want, you are so much closer to getting what it is that you want. Maybe you need/like to struggle or strive for some personal reason. It is up to you.

Good luck.

2008-08-04 14:06
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marinemj:

if he's jealous and controlling, i'd bail.

umm...i'm not sure what the part girls' looks have to do with anything...unless it is that they were ugly so he didn't have to be jealous of them. but you are so smokin' hot he worries about you getting snapped up by some other guy.

the real deal is probably that your guy is a controlling dick and ex-girlfriends are a bad place to go to talk about guys they used to date.

2008-08-04 17:46
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harleygirl:

Okay, I see several red flags. The ex probably was embarassed that you brought the issue up, and when your boyfriend says he was with them 24/7 that should make you want to run for your life! No couple should be with each other 24/7! If you think the control thing will get better with time, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Pack up your self-esteem and get yourself a real man.

2008-08-04 20:50
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Inah:

Jealous and controlling men often turn into abusers later. I'd be wary.

2008-08-04 21:48
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ravjav:

Jealous and controlling men who spend 24/7 with girlfriends and badmouth their ex's are very bad risks as boyfriends/spouses/SO's. They are insecure and often end up as abusers. Dump this guy and find someone who can allow you to be yourself.

This is exerience speaking - my sister married an insecure, jealous, controlling man despite all the red flags that were pointed out to her. 3 years later she is miserable and her family barely sees her. Jealous men isolate their victims until they have them all to themselves and even then it isn't enough.

2008-08-29 18:02