UPDATE: My recent attempt to reconnect with childhood friends
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Out of the (5) answers to my problem, only one of them was acceptable to me. The others were mean spirited and frankly, I am surprised at how people seem to read so many negatives into a matter that is really quite innocent. This has to do with a very nice lady who is somewhat down on her luck and has a very strong desire to relocate to the area in which she was born and raised. These two men were not boyfriends but classmates. In all reality, it's an expensive world out there. Of course I would turn to someone who is well-heeled and has connections in the community. Is a poor person going to have the resources to help you? These two men were persons I knew when I was in school. There was nothing of a sexual nature happening, since it was a different world at the time. I feel badly since I do need help in order to relocate there I was not able to speak to either of these men. There also seems to be a resentment toward people who leave their hometowns. I do not think there was anything not normal about my longing to go there again and my attempts to reconnect with people who knew me.

ORIGINAL QUESTION:
I recently took a trip back to my home town on the East Coast. I tried to get in touch with a couple of men who I knew in school. One I knew in grade school and the other in high school. Both are attorneys in the area where we were born and raised.
Here are more details: We are in our 50's and I left the area with my parents when I was 21 years old and have live in many places. These two guys evidently stayed there and now are settled and are probably very well off financially.
For all of my running around the world and not settling long in one place, I really have nothing now to show for it. I am alone and not in good financial condition by any means.
My attempts at reconnecting with these men was a failure. One of them would absolutely not take my call and since I have worked as a secretary myself, I know that he notified his secretary that he did not wish to speak with me.
The other man returned my call in a friendly manner but only to tell me he was busy at the moment and asked me to call again the next day. When I called, he answered the phone and told me he was with a client and would call me back. He never did despite several more phone calls that I left.
I would very much like to go back to my roots and live in this area again and cannot do so on my own as there are no windows open for me there now. I would need someone's help in order to do this. That is a reason I tried to renew old acquaintances. I definitely need someone's help who has a foothold in the community.
I just don't know what their problem is. I think it would be fun to talk to an old school chum. They seem very afraid to even talk with me. Do you think I should write them letters expressing my disappointment at not being able to meet them in person?
Please give me your take on this. Thank you!!!
Carol

asked by Anonymous on Thursday, October 25, 2007 - 12:27 and last updated on Wednesday, October 31, 2007 - 08:56 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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b0xxx:

>> I am alone and not in good financial condition by any means...I definitely need someone's help who has a foothold in the community. I just don't know what their problem is.

All your running around the world and not settling long in one place has left you broad but shallow socially. Their problem is that you and your agenda are completely transparent to them. And they won't be fooled by your haste to reignite whatever it was you think you had with them when you were less than 21.

How can you deceive them, manipulate them, and convince them that your intentions are noble? Why work so hard on people who you have a history with when you can just manipulate total strangers, and suck the blood from them?

Good luck and please let us know about the poor idiots who fell for it!

2007-10-26 10:26
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Everybodys Got One:

Dear Carol,

I'm not sure I totally get it... what did you actually want from the lawyers? Why did you call them? You didn't say the were 'friends', but rather a 'couple of men who I knew in school'.

It is perfectly reasonable and normal to get together with old friends when you go back to your hometown. Calling the two most affluent locals you 'knew' in hopes that they would help you resettle into the community is not particularly reasonable or normal. Is that what you did or am I missing something?

Regardless, I have no idea why you would write them letters other than to give them further fuel for the eventual conversation the two will have about you that will go something like:

'Hey Bill, were you friends with Carol back in High School?'

'Oh my god! Did she call you too!?!'

'Yeah. Out of the blue. It was weird. She wanted me to help her move back to town. She wasn't even really a close friend. Just a girl I knew. I think she wanted cash.'

'Same here. Well, I think same here, I really can't say why she called. My secretary said it was Carol from school - I assumed she meant Carol Henderson - so I screened the call because I don't want to hear anymore about that paternity suit.'

[and here's the part you can avoid]

'Yeah, but the weirdest thing was this letter she sent me telling me how disappointed she was that we weren't able to meet in person.'

'Oh... I got one of those too. I have the restraining order paper all filled out just in case. Need a copy?'

'Hell yeah. You can bill me a quarter hour.'

'Already did.'

***

So, I guess my answer to your question is "No."

EBG1

2007-10-27 09:25
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LolaMarie:

They say you can never go back so true, so true. You have made your intentions known to both of these men and they to you. They don't want to be bothered. By contacting them again would only make you seem needy and unrefined. If you choose to re visit your youth take a trip back to your home town and mingle with the townspeople to see if you can find any lost aquaintances. You might be surprised. But trying to contact these 2 men again will get you no where since you already have their answer. Lola Marie

2007-10-25 13:49
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username:

No, do not contact them again. They made it clear that they are not interested in renewing old acquaintances.

It sounds like you are only interested in them because they have money, what kind of a friend does that make you?

2007-10-25 16:53
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marinemj:

it has been 30 years and they are not interested is talking to someone who clearly has an agenda beyond catching up with old school chums. they are not out of line. leave them alone.

2007-10-25 20:39