I think I may have gotten in way to deep!!! Please help!!!!!
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Dear John,
I am 22 years old and have been involved with a 40 year old man for the past 6 months. We have become very close, and I can't imagine being without him. I knew that he had 4 kids, the oldest being 21 and the youngest 18 months. Last night he sat me down and told me that right before me there was another woman, and he wasn't careful and she got pregnant with his child. She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in November, but he never told me anything, and lied to me about buying things for "his froends" baby when we would go shopping!!!! He is going to be involved with his new daughter, which I agree with, but I hate the fact that he lied this whole time to me instead of just being honest up front. I would love to have a family of my own someday, and I'm just not sure that I could dael with 5 kids, from 4 different mommas. Can you please give me some advice. I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Melissa

asked by Anonymous on Thursday, January 10, 2008 - 11:16 | PROVIDE UPDATE

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Answers

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whatdoyoumeancookie:

you want some advice? here it is: run. like hell.

2008-01-10 15:28
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harleygirl:

Ditto!

2008-01-10 15:40
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marinemj:

yeah, what they said. haven't you ever watched jerry springer?? run.

2008-01-10 17:37
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gypsiegal:

Dear Melissa,

WOW, you sure did get yourself in a duzzie didn't you. My advice to you would be that you need to move on. You are way too young to start life out this way. You have a whole life ahead of you and you don't deserve a grown man whom should be acting more mature than you, lie to you and expect you to stick around after this. Go find a man who doesn't have 4 different momma's babys daddy and make a better life for yourself!!!

2008-01-10 21:25
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freedom writer:

I also agree. RUN.

His oldest child is 21? Which is a year younger than you. YOU COULD BE HIS DAUGHTER. not saying theres anything wrong with having a relationship with two people with such an age difference. But I would still advice you to run away. very very far....

2008-01-11 16:28
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whome:

This JERK is playing you. I'm with the others.
RUN and don't look back!

2008-01-11 17:11
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wullaby:

Stick with what is your business. Why are you worried about children who already have their own mothers? One would think that somebody has asked you to be a mother to each one - which, of course, would be absurd since they already have their mothers.

On the other hand, no one can ask you to be their father. They already have one. Also, you are not male or from his family to be asked to assume such responsibilities. OK. With those eliminated, we can finally come down to what are your legitimate worries and business as you: a young female coming into herself.

While there are so many logical pros and cons to throw here and there, the most important thing is your feelings. They tie in with your needs through your life-stages, telling you what you have been prepared for and what is good or bad for you. You have to protect those from any prodding because THAT (your feelings) are your official realm. As long as you have feelings, you do not have to worry too much if you belong in this story of life, or where it will lead you. By default they (feelings) mean you do, already. So, dont be too unnerved - even in times like this when you forget what your business is and you start thinking living a human life is the hardest, most daunting thing!!

The future will unfold and it will be good. I trust that you will honor your feelings in this matter. That is where your business begins.

Good luck.

2008-01-15 15:02
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keri's:

Are you for real or did you make this up??? This man is self centered and irresponsible. He is using you, he has no morals, he is a player. Get over him because there is absolutely nothing but heart ache ahead should you chose to stay involved with the man.I can almost guarantee you there will never be a ring and there will definitely never be piece of mind. He's cheating on his wife, he'll cheat on you too. Besides when you are 40 and still wanting to go out, dance and party he'll be pushing 60. Get out before you end up in this mess any deeper.

2008-06-17 21:31