My husband and I have been divorced for about 3 years. Over the past few months we've been spending time together intimately. The problem is, he's still living with his girlfriend. Three years ago he had an affair with her. Since they were both political community leaders, it ended up in the newspapers when it became public. He tells me he is not happy with her and wants out. He claims he is planning on leaving in October when he gets a better job. I don't know if I can trust him. We were married 15 years, together for 20 years, and have three children the youngest is 9. Obviously the divorce was hard on all of us and I don't want to put the children on another emotional roller coaster (the children are unaware that we are spending time together). I have always loved my ex-husband and I have forgiven him for his infidelity. My head's telling me I'm no better than she is, but my heart tells me not to give up. Should I continue spending time with him or break things off?
marinemj:
this is way too complicated a situation to judge based on just what you have told us. is your husband contrite and does he want to come back? what does getting a better job have to do with leaving the girlfriend. was everything ok in your marriage before the affair? if he does want to come back, is he willing to get counselling and work on things? if he is willing to leave her, re-commit to you, and do the work, then i say follow your heart. but frankly he sounds a little fishy to me and maybe you should use your head. only you can really know.